Relationships--Friendship
“So embrace, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, a spirit of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, and longsuffering. Bear with one another and forgive one another. If anyone has a quarrel against anyone, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do. And above all these things, embrace love, which is the bond of perfection.” Colossians 3:12-14 (MEV)
How does a friendship begin? We don’t know who of our acquaintances will become actual friends. We don’t know until we have several conversations and get to know the person better. Friendships often develop because of common interests. First, we may listen to someone in a general conversation, and as we listen we discover a common interest. If we listen long enough and carefully enough, we discover that the person has interesting things to say and that we want to hear more. So we speak and join the conversation by offering opinions and probably asking questions. By this time both people may realize that they hold interests in common, and that they would enjoy spending more time together. And as more time is spent together, both parties begin to reveal themselves more deeply and the friendship becomes an active relationship.
It doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes a friendship occurs almost at the drop of a hat. It may be almost immediate that the realization of a friendly relationship my occur. In either case the exchange of ideas occurs and respect is developed.
So these are ways that friendships begin, but for a friendship, particularly a close friendship, to develop and be pleasant and important to both people, we need to follow Paul’s instructions that he gives us in the above Scripture. Indeed, to be a good friend, we must be both kind and considerate, not trying to dominate conversations, but by showing interest in what the other person is saying. Sometimes, even in friendships, differences happen, and they need to be resolved amicably. In other words, we need to show the love of God even in the times of teasing each other. Being careful not to hurt the other person’s feelings by embarrassing him or her is an important skill to learn.
A friend is also available to help in situations of need--physical, emotional, spiritual, or monetary need. This is where the “rubber meets the road.” If I can’t help a friend in need, I am not a friend indeed, or maybe I should say “a friend in deed.” My deeds show my friendship as much or even more than my words. Proverbs 18:24 is instructive: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Reliability is greatly to be desired in a friend, and a friend who is reliable can be of more value than a brother. The question for me is this: Am I being a good friend, one who shows the love of God in a reliable manner?
The Great Commission, given to us by Christ in Mark 16:15, says, “He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel.’” (NIV) Logically, the more friends we have the more people that we can be sure that have heard the Good News of Jesus Christ. Do I know that all my friends have at least heard the Gospel? My friends become prospective ambassadors for Christ. This is the way that the Gospel spreads.
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