Levels of Relationship
“So embrace, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, a spirit of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, and longsuffering. Bear with one another and forgive one another. If anyone has a quarrel against anyone, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do. And above all these things, embrace love, which is the bond of perfection.” Colossians 3:12-14 (MEV)
I’d like to discuss three levels of relationship in the next few days. They are as follows: relationship with a friend, relationship with a spouse, and relationship with God. I think we can agree that these are certainly three different levels of relationship with three levels of intimacy. The Scripture quoted above gives good instructions from Paul for any relationship. Mercy should always be a part of any relationship we have with anyone, but especially with a friend or spouse. If we cannot show mercy to these two, the relationship will probably not last or will, at best, be an awkward one. I believe that Paul is calling us to be kind to all we meet, and we should. It is difficult to have a relationship with a friend or spouse if we can’t be kind. Kindness is often the way in which a relationship begins. Humbleness of mind and meekness speak to the way in which we value others. They show that we value the person and respect and appreciate his/her comments and wisdom. Aren’t we likely to accept someone as a friend who values our opinions? And we must value a spouse as someone with solid opinions and wisdom. If we don’t value the opinions of a spouse, that person will soon realize that he or she does not have our respect, and the marriage is in trouble. Sometimes a friend or spouse will do something that bothers us and may have difficulty in changing that behavior. To be a good friend or spouse, we need to be patient. If we cannot bear with someone or forgive him/her, the friendship or marriage is not likely to last.
We are reminded that we have been forgiven by God for ALL of our sins, and that we must be forgiving of others as Christ has been of us. And finally, we are told to “embrace love which is the bond of perfection.” Love provides for the perfect bond of friendship or marriage. Love is also the perfection of our relationship with God.
With this as a basis, I would like to explore the similarities and important differences among the three relationships—friend, spouse, and God--over the next several sessions.
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